The trouble with being a Christian writer is that it comes with expectations. Expectations of myself, i.e "am I measuring up to who I should be as a child of God and as one who has committed her journey to the written word?"Coupled with those of others, "is she who I expect her to be, since I have bought her book and she claims to follow God?" Finally add in the expectations of God, as said through the words of Jesus: "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me." Luke 9:23 (New International Version)
Is it any wonder I come to my blog with fear and trepidation of how much of my real self I should reveal as I fear I live up to none of these expectations. However today I just want to confess that I am a fickle, trite individual who is capable of a moment of frivolity, as well as someone who deeply wants to connect with God and share the hope of my faith: Despite having not received any royalties yet, I have probably just blown the next three years worth (I jest, I hope sales won't be that bad) on a.... maxi dress and not on a new high tech Biblical concordance I as fear I should! Yes the long flowing dress with elaborate bodice (that is designed for the elegant willowy figure, rather than my pear shaped one!!) was half price and I succumbed to the excuse that my brother is soon to be married and that I would like a really stunning outfit for his big day.
I am still not sure how God has viewed this impetus act, but I don't think that he wants us to be miserable and never able to step out and enjoy a moment of madness! (I will let you know if He tells me otherwise). In the meantime I have decided to pretty much be myself in this blog, after all what's the point in pretending to be someone else when the one person I want to impress already knows who I am!
Great post.
Absolutely be yourself here. Hope we get to see this floaty vision of a dress too!
Your post reminded me of some points raised by BooMama on her blog today http://boomama.net/2008/06/24/finding-your-bloggy-identity/
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