Hazel Rolston: August 2008 Archives

Feeling the need to blog! Felt a bit churned up earlier to-day. Received my issue of Christianity Magazine yesterday and read the feature about me in The Day I..... Cringed! Although Ruth Dickinson writes well, I guess I have been telling myself that most people have not read the book and therefore my story is not that well known. However now I reckon more folk might read the magazine article and suddenly I feel more exposed. Coupled with the fact that I knew my interview with Jeff Lucas and Ruth Dearnley was being aired this evening on Premier Radio, I was left with mixed emotions.

Although it has been great to have been given the chance by IVP to get my writing published and to speak of it on the radio with Jeff and Ruth (even if I did get into a right old fuss about what to wear for the radio interview and ended up buying a top in Asda the night before at 10pm!) ... it is not always easy to think of people knowing my story: I am not proud of aspects of it, in fact in some ways it is hard to stand by my own truth. 

Yet when I turn my attention away from my feelings towards those who are suffering from similiar afflictions I feel differently: Only this evening did I visit a Christian friend in a secure mental health unit and suddenly my bruised ego melted away. Hearing the nurse's keys jangle as she walked the length of the ward towards me, to let me in, was enough to remind me that I narrowly missed hospital admission myself and how awful it is to be in a state of mental collapse.

I may smart at times with the sting of my story, but if it can act as a balm to soothe the aloneness and terror of another's mental turmoil - then it is totally worth it. 
I write this morning bleary-eyed and with a fresh orange juice on hand, in my favourite cafe. (Recently I reached a new high on the weighing scales so am forcing myself to have the healthy option, though if another person waves a full breakfast front of me I may have to succumb! The sight and smell of bacon is driving me crazy!)

The summer is flying by and despite returning to Bristol it feels like I’ve moved back to Ireland: The constant rain bringing a rich emerald glow to the countryside. So far, due to being busy, I have obsessed less than usual about the weaknesses of parenting skills, which always seem more pronounced in the summer weeks. Although I have only one child, (therefore less practical chores than a family of five) I must admit that we do not spend the summer months constantly making and creating works of art. Too much telly is always an issue, as are my organisational skills and our ability to leave the house on time!

But so far it has been good. Despite minor health challenges we had a great time in N. Ireland seeing family and friends, and even the Maxi dress got an airing at Steve’s cousin’s lovely wedding!

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(Photo as requested by Janmary, sorry don't have full length photo of dress!)

Likewise Steve had a good time in Rwanda, with his sister and dad, though his recently broken ribs (another unlikely story from the Rolston’s) did not appreciate the long bumpy roads!

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Last night I returned from Signs of God Summer School which was great, though both humbling and challenging: Facing the fact that even after years of practice I still can’t  make my hands do what I want them to do. Yet the teaching, worship and conversations in BSL were wonderful and the week was another reminder to me that if I am willing to give God my impaired states, He can bring something valuable out of them.

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I know I reflected in my last blog that God was with us whatever the weather, but thought this cartoon by Dave Walker might also lend a hand during this rainy spell and in the absence of a hot sun scorching on our heads!  

About this Archive

This page is a archive of recent entries written by Hazel Rolston in August 2008.

Hazel Rolston: July 2008 is the previous archive.

Hazel Rolston: September 2008 is the next archive.